What a Lovely Bike Ride

I feel like an idiot.  Today I decided to go on a nice, relaxing bike ride.  It was cloudy out when I headed out, so I didn't put on sunscreen.  I made it to a pretty park, only to be greeted with the sign "WARNING: Minimum Maintenance".  This was obvious...for one thing, the trail was covered in branches, and for another thing, the hills on the trail were WAY to steep for any bike.  So I proceeded to walk my bike. It was actually pretty cool to see a couple different parks, but I found myself getting further and further into the ride....and by now, the sun had come out, and I could feel my face roasting. So when I ended up at a park by a highway that leads to my college, I decided to take the highway.  It was closed for construction, so I figured I was safe!

Not so.

Trucks full of dirt came whizzing past as I crossed the highway, so I decided to go one road over...for safety's sake, right?  I walked my bike alongside the highway, trying to find a good place to cross to the other road.  Finally, I got fed up and decided to carry my bike...through what I thought was a few, sparse trees and a small ditch.  Well.  You can probably guess that my perception was off.

Long bushes of thorns caught on my pants as I tried to heave my bike around tree trunks and branches.  My bike is considerably heavy, so I was having a difficult time.  Tripping over twigs, thorns, and thick prairie grass, I finally made it to the ditch.  It was a little bit steeper than I had though....and a little bit....filled with water.  I looked back at the mass of thorns and branches I had just maneuvered through.  No way was I going back through THAT.

So, I tried to inch my way down the side of the ditch.  Terrible idea.  Just...stupid.  I ended up slipping and sliding down the dirt towards the stream...which was actually deeper than I had noticed.  My bike, pedals catching on grass, came careening after me.  I struggled to hold it, effectively twisting my fingers and wrist impossibly.  My other hand grabbed the things closest to me...a bunch of thorns.

Well...I didn't fall in, but it took a Herculean effort to heave my bike back up the ditch side and back through the thorns and trees.  To make matters worse, the construction workers appeared to have seen the whole thing, and were watching with smirks on their faces.  I avoided their eyes and walked my bike a bit further down the road, still searching for a place to cross.

Lo and behold.  A clear path across.  20 feet away from where I had just toiled in the woods for about half an hour.

I biked back to campus slowly, finally pulling my bike into the bike rack and wiping brambles and thorns from my shirt and pants.  A glance in the window showed that my face was bright red from the sun, my hair was messed up, and I had long scratches down my arms from the thorns.

What a lovely bike ride.